This is so fucking cliche...
"I haven't written in a while" I didn't know how else I could've started this, but it is, in fact, the truth.
The procrastinator that I am I wasn't able to do a lot of things for a while, and being a reactionary person and not a truly proactive one I am doing this in response to a friend's blog.
You see when someone you deeply care about goes into an existential dive that tears him into bits and throws him to the dogs of self loathing, one is expected to lend a hand and a hot beverage; that's what friends are for anyway.
Because when you are knee deep in life's shits you tend to not notice the beauty of it all and the truth of how wonderful everything is, and how much I am rambling on not getting to the fucking point.
Anyway that certain person accused himself of being a sedentary peripheral lifeform with the ability of being agreeable. That couldn't be the farthest from the truth.
He failed to recognize that one of the reasons he is a man of few words, is because he is a man of many thoughts. One that measures every word carefully before sending it out to the world. That sense of perfectionism (of which he dubs fear of mediocrity) which separates him from the other (of which I am one of them) the shotguns words around and watches what sticks and what doesn't.
A keen observer that likes to have all the angles before doing anything.
Agreeable he is anything but. That man is the most strongly opinionated person I've known. He will have an opinion about something and stick to it regardless of whatever comes his way to sway him. A man who's opinions I personally Value so much over everything else, and I actually feel a sense of pride to see him grow into this person of such great thoughts and opinions not to mention taste (I have known him for a while and he has truly evolved from a mere awestruck explorer to veteran trendsetting trailblazer).
He's too far deep into his head to notice the impact he has made into so many of our lives (Especially mine) that he feels a sense of lack of accomplishment. Maybe the physicality of this accomplishment is not to his liking but then again all great artists thrived for more which made them achieve said physical accomplishments.
it's just the fact that he's been conditioned to function in a certain manner for so long that it is taking him a while to break through the mold and become fluid again. This adaptation from that 20 year old goal of "an education" in this new goal of "achievement" (whatever that means). The conditioning and parental laws have had a deep altering effect but I think he has gained something we could all use.
That unwavering sense of duty once a task is at hand, overcoming distractions and procrastination. if any of us had half of that the amount of shit we can accomplish is endless.
But here's the thing, no one looks at himself as this great saviour of mankind, which is why he can't see his talents that set him apart from people (which I haven't mentioned here, not all of them at least). I think I'm a crappy artist/writer and know I'm not much of a musician or a comedian yet that doesn't stop me from pursuing it and pushing myself to do it. For some reason I honestly cannot explain, some people love what I do so I play along and let them enjoy it. it's the pushing forward that makes us get better, one will have to achieve the mediocre to overcome it, you can't go from failure to success without passing through mediocrity. Life is a step by step kinda deal.
It's all a matter of perspective in the end, I believe the mark he has left in all of us is too great to deny. it's just at this point when he sees some people has what might resemble some sort of direction or purpose he doesn't really notice that they're just fighting the tides trying to make sense of everything that's happening, just like him. So all he has to do is just look forward, find a comfortable spot to aim for and just swim in that direction. because life is like a hard flowing stream of fucking useless analogies that have no purpose but to end this entry so I can go ahead and do something with myself(I meant get back to work no masturbate you fuckers)