So I read Channel Zero and it got me thinking

This is a year of an election, not for the-now more than ever-useless union of what we call students back at university, but for the big dogs that run this shithole we call home. When the time will come we will have to choose one out of a group of under qualified overzealous “politicians” that think they can run it better than the dude who has been doing it for 30 years (and doing a crappy job at it).

I believe no one is fit to run this crazy-ass corrupt government, yet someone has to. I reserve the right to choose no one then because frankly it won’t matter, the ones running are either legacies or just people who think they can do better, great if you think you can do better, but can you really deliver? Fuck, I doubt it. Hell if there’s anyone who can actually do a good job of running this country, they would probably be corrupted with power as soon as they get into it.


You see the presidential seat in Egypt is like Frostmourne in Warcraft it is the artifact that corrupts the purest of souls with the most honorable and noble intentions. Not that I’m saying that those cocksuckers who can think they can run it have noble intentions or even slightly care. Power in this country is everything and with it one can get anything; money, fame, chicks you name it.


At this point I really don’t give a rabid baboon’s cock as who will win this election. I’m not the protesting type of person that runs down streets in torn shirts yelling down with the oppressors, you see the problem with us is not the leader, he has been there for far too long to be a problem anymore. The one coming after him wouldn’t be a problem either, and granted they will try their best to fuck up the status quo carefully placed by the previous one in the name of change. Hell, even change is changing no longer are we going to see the quarters with holes in them. And then what they’ll just sit their fat asses comfortably on top of that everlasting seat in that fortress in Heliopolis and just relish the power going mad.
Fuck, these elections aren’t even fair. With some parties illegalized so as not to run. What the fuck? Are you so afraid that some people have more pull with the public that they can steal the lights from you and in turn the precious throne? Since when were political parties illegal, for this to be a proper democracy everyone from the religious extremists to the communists, lenninist-marxists, anarchists, scientologists or even piss fuck masochistic dominators who think they should form a political party should have one and have the right to run for election that is the pure essence of democracy a dying label that is overused to the point that it’s becoming meaningless.


Blame the system? Well you were gonna say it at one point. What’s so wrong with the system? Hell if I know. I doubt there even is a system, I think our government is just the best example of how one can ad lib running a country. There is a system of input and output of cashflow into the arrays of pockets of officials. The best thing I love about our language is that the word for government officials is “responsibles”, laughable at best, I can’t hold my sniggers when I hear it. Responsible ? for what? Making themselves fatter? Richer? More obnoxious? I don’t know who the hell is the minister of whatever the fuck ministries there are, and frankly I don’t care. I don’t care what system you use be it a socialist system, capitalist system, FUCK IT use the metric system if you have to I just want this place to be better.


You see the biggest problem here is the people. No one is catering for their needs. People that are dying standing in line for bread, a staple in every local’s dining table (if not also the appetizer, main course and desert). People who have to endure being raped and dry humped on the bus everyday going to work. People who are bombarded with 750 million pounds worth of elephant semen covered horse shit that is broadcasted through the airwaves during the holiest of holy times. Brainwashed to the nth degree the people have reached a state of mental limbo and are scared shitless to make any move lest they miss the 200 year old unaging hottie in her crude attempts of imitating western entertainment and failing miserabley. I’m as much part of these people as anyone else. Hell one of these shows is playing on TV this very instant and I can’t help but enjoy it to my dismay. Hell I stopped typing for a bit to watch even.


Maybe I’ll get into more detail about the so called “entertainment” industry in a later time but for now let’s stay on point. You see these people that are in dire need of help think that a simple leader can help fix all their problems. I know for a fact that no matter how much a leader tries to fix this place there will still be problems that he (or possibly yet highly unlikely she) will have to deal with. It is up to those people to stand for themselves and do something about their lives. Everyone is capable of changing their own lives if they want to. Now really the system and government and the corrupt responsible or even that “president” won’t matter if the people want something. Power to the people is such an overrated phrase. The people always had power, the power of the masses. What can a small group of people do in front of a large mass of unflinching public opinion. Rage an emotion wrongly expressed in this country. People channel their rage, repression and oppression unto one another forgetting the true cause of their fucked up lives that will not change unless they do something about.


Sure go ahead and vote, express your opinion by all means be a model citizen and be politically active, stand in protests yell out against the power to be, if you want to, I won’t but that’s just me. But the next “politician” the controls this country won’t clean the streets for you when your ignorant ass litters the floor with the shit you so happily consume. The next politician won’t clear the streets for you when you decide to drive in four lanes in a two lane street. They won’t do your job for you when you half ass-edly do it just to cash your pay check and life goes on. You see the problem and the solution lie within us, this whole election, democracy, system, politics, activism BULLSHIT is just the names we give to the game we blame on all our miseries, in the end the only way for us to truly have a better country is to start from within, change yourselves, fix yourselves, get over the beast of procrastination and the demons of apathy. Try to work around the system and not give in to it. When you do a job do it right, because in the end only you will look bad. You can be the happy consumerist public all you want but the least you can do is be so in a better environment. And next time you see some asshole throwing a bag of chips on the floor PUNCH THEM IN THE FUCKING FACE.

when in rome would you really do as the romans do ?

when in rome would you really do as the romans do ?

Answer here

what does dues ex machina mean to you ?

what does dues ex machina mean to you ?

Answer here

how often would you say often ?

how often would you say often ?

Answer here

Wisdom of the ages

you know, no matter how much one says it and no matter how cliched it might sound "enjoy the little things"

Life is a fleeting presence that we tend to take too seriously, sometimes that small event can just cheer you up to a massive degree.

The company of a friend, no matter how short it might be (even five minutes) can cause immense satisfaction and happiness. That pee after holding it in for 3 hours. That meal after being hungry for a while. Those two kilos you lost last week. Those pants that fit you again. That joke you remebered. That chocolate you were practically dreaming of and couldn't find in 5 supermarkets.

All these tiny moments should be highly cherished because they fill our existence (be it miserable or otherwse) with cheer, and that notion that everything will be allright.

Ps this has nothing to do with me watching zombieland again this morning but rather this feeling I got while sitting in a street restaurant (right now) while waiting for a dear friend and a good meal, and I felt this immense rush of satisfied happiness...
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Never give up. Never surrender (bloody fist)

So egyptian action movies have been famous with subpar action scenes that could only be described as a good attempt, with the exception of a couple of good ones.
On the other hand comedy is usually where we excel, yes there are fiascos that still happen to be funny but overall egyptian sense of humor is pretty much epic.
Now the mixing of both has always been a tricky situation, either you get the serious action hero with the comedic sidekick that has lame jokes that could be potentially funny (ala ahmed el sakka movies) or the suae charming action hero that has a couple of lines that are funny. And then there are comedy movies that throw in an action scene in the end just to serve a paper thin plot. And there's always mamdouh farag's masterpiece (not) 3al2et moot.
Now in comes ahmed mekki, a creator and an actor that has had hits over the past couple of years that are unrivalled in humor.
He approaches the action comedy genre in a different manner, rather than taking himself too seriously with a plot that would otherwise be described as cliched and overused he emphasizes that point starting with the movie title itself and keeps poking fun at the script itself and the actors overact in some parts just to make sure you don't take them that seriously (and I assumed that was intentional because I know they CAN act)
The movie has a simple plot government agency wants to capture a druglord his right hand man dies, the police find a doppleganger to plant within the organization, throw in a love interest and you got a story going. Now make the doppleganger a funny accent and mannerisms and you have katkoot a failed mohamed saad movie from 4 years ago (which they mention in the movie btw along with a couple of the plethora of movies that used that theme) but add in mekki and co's acting and ingenuity and you have a great movie.
In touch with modern day pop culture and blending it in with the movie perfectly (as they are famous for) as well as a very cleverly funny script.
The movie falls into the trap of being divided into the funny part and the action part but other than that it stays fresh with the comedy though, the first half of the film is nonstop laughter that is so loud the ground will shake, the action is still subpar yet there are some impressive feats, key word impressive not awestruckingly micheal bay but then again production value here is low anyway.
An enjoyable movie overall and it has a ninja, so that's always good. Hilariously funny and a great take on the cliche that kills it to death. An avid movie goer will love the the references to older movies and type cast actors in egyptian cinema (ala tarantino name dropping)
I enjoyed it immensly. Another point of view from a friend that was with me was that he found it hard to follow the lead due to the selected accent and voice, which made it hard for him to identify. So be on the look out for being alienated for some of the references unless you are really up to date with all the egyptian pop culture.

A must see nontheless, it is probably the best comedy hit this summer from the looks of it.
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Another Trophy

He smirked as he saw the crimson liquid flow down onto his hands. The knife now deep within her chest, the warm blood flowed out of her. There is something about the color that amuses him. The warmth sends a tingling pleasure across his spine. The smirk extends to a grimace, and he lets out a small chuckle. Her screams have died out; now it is only the silence of death.

He was following her for while, the brunette with eyes as blue as the sea, and are even deeper. Her skin so soft, he wants nothing but to run his hands across it. Her ample bosom heaving with every step she takes, his heart follows its rhythm. A week since he first saw her; he knew then she was to be his next one. He would claim her like he claimed the others; after all he always got what he wanted.

He followed her home; she didn’t notice him. He now knows where she lives. It doesn’t take much time to plan. In fact he usually doesn’t plan. It’s instinctive. He waits not to plan, but merely lets it linger to increase the thrill of the hunt. The pleasure lies not in the capture, though that is a large part of it, but the true pleasure lies in the act of the hunt itself. The tracking, the anticipation, the hiding in the shadows following the prey’s every move. That is all they are to him, prey, trophies to be collected.

Then the fateful day comes, he gets bored of following her; now he wants her, and he will have her. He goes to her house and waits. She comes out, and the chase begins. Like a lioness stretched in the savannah his senses sharpen. The sun sets, signaling that the chase will nearly come to an end. Darkness always provided him with cover. He hides in the shadows now following her every step. Once it is dark enough he announces his presence by stepping into the light behind her and pacing in her direction. This is when they run; he smiles, he loves it when they run.

She looks behind her and sees a dark figure approaches fast. An ominous feeling swells in her stomach and she starts moving faster, he follows likewise. She is running now. He is excited, adrenaline now flowing through his blood he runs after her, allowing her to get a little ahead just to have her think she could get away; he knows she won’t, but that way it’s more exciting.  His smile widens now showing his teeth. He can’t help it and starts laughing manically after her. She screams, oh how he loves it when they scream. He laughs harder, pulls out his knife that glistens brightly in the moonlit street. She scream louder, she’s desperate, and he’s closing in. her screams send chills across his body, he is excited now, but he won’t move in for the kill yet; he has to revel in this pleasure. She screams louder; he laughs harder.

She sees an exit to the left and runs into it, she’s not familiar with this neighborhood and the fear has overtaken her mind; she can’t think straight. He knows it’s a dead end, they always run into a dead end. It demeans his hunting skills, but he doesn’t care this is when the climax happens. She runs in only to face a wall. He slows down, walking in behind her. She turns around and screams, he joins her screaming with a howling laugh and walks slowly towards her with the biggest smile on his face. This moment he torments her walking as slowly as possible towards her knife drawn, shimmering as if death is signaling her from the dark. Her horror now is paramount; his eyes widen, it is time.

He won’t rape her. The only pleasure he gets is in the hunt itself, and now it’s time to end it. He closes in; she falls backwards, looks up to him and screams. He grabs her breast with his right hand and stabs with his left, into her heart. He feels her ribs collapsing under the force of his blade, he never misses the heart, not anymore; he’s been practicing, this one will be his masterpiece.  He pushes the knife in deeper, his other hand squeezing in unbelievable ecstasy. This is his moment; he lays her down slowly, pushing the knife in till the end. The blood starts to flow; this is why he likes to stab the heart, the blood flows instantly; a warm, gleaming, crimson stream flowing through his fingers. Her soft white skin is now smeared with a deeper shade of burgundy that reflects the moonlight into his eyes, now wide with madness. There is a reason they call it lunacy, the moon just enhances the entire experience; he knows it, he loves the moonlight it just makes his work more poetic.

The struggle stops, it is done. But to him it is not over yet. It is never over till he licks the blade. He pulls out the blood drenched knife from what was once a chest full of life and pleasure; Raises it up in the bright moonlight, turning it to either side admiring the warm blood on the cold steel. He lets out another howling laugh and sticks out his tongue, scarred and hideous; it is a marker of his work. Every time he hunts he has to lick the blade leaving another mark on his tongue. He has a favorite scar, the one going straight down the middle of his tongue, nearly splitting it in two, like the viper he is. He draws the knife closer to his face, eyes widening mixed with a deranged smile. He turns the blade to face his tongue and licks it from bottom to top. His tongue bleeds mixing with her blood now drying on the blade. This union of blood is why he does all this; now she’s part of him, and he is satisfied. He looks down on the body; still beautiful, her dead blue eyes like diamonds glowing in the moonlight. He looks up to the sky and send out a laugh that sounds more like a screech of a thousand cats being killed. He runs off into the darkness tongue sticking out, knife still in hand, and disappears.

The next morning she leaves her house to work. It’s warm outside she’s wearing shorts; her legs seem endless, tanned to a perfect shade of bronze and smooth as fine Chinese silk. There is a bounce in her step, a childlike skip, she loves these sunny days. She crosses the street, bumping into this tall man who seems oddly distracted. She stops and looks up to him, her blonde hair flowing away from her face to show her hazel brown eyes. She smiles politely and apologizes in a hypnotically melodic voice. He seems remote, yet he nods slowly. She walks away, off to work. He turns and looks at her, her feet barely touching the ground, her legs rising to a perfectly shaped behind.  His lips curve sideways into a smirk. “let the games begin”